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December 1, 2011

Today I was chatting with a friend about adoption and foster care and by the end of the conversation my heart was so gripped that I just had to share some of our conversation and the thoughts that I have had since:

Chosen (adj)- having been selected as the best.

Our conversation thrust before my eyes the striking similarities between children waiting in foster care hoping to be CHOSEN, facing the rejection of NOT being chosen and then carrying that pain deep in their hearts when they are not, and the families pursuing adoption who are waiting and hoping to be CHOSEN, facing the rejection of NOT being chosen and hoping to hear the words, “You have been chosen,” the next time the phone rings.

Chosen. To have been selected as the best. We have all known to some degree what it is like to be chosen and the sting of not being chosen. Whether it was being chosen to be on the “blue team” in gym class, chosen to read your story aloud to the class, chosen as Home Coming queen, chosen as class president, or the strikingly opposite, not chosen for a part in the school play, not chosen to attend a birthday party that all your friends were attending, not chosen to be the first in line.

Imagine this: Your face is on a website, it may read something like this under your picture: “Tracie (16) is a friendly, organized, outgoing young lady who loves reading, art and music, she would love to join a family who has young children. She says she would love to be a big sister, and help teach other kids how to draw.”  She knows her face is there, and yet her social worker tells her that no one has inquired. Or worse, several families have inquired, a few have even met her, and she has still not been chosen. Each time her heart hurts. The sting of rejection digs deep and she wonders what is wrong with her, why she isn’t good enough, what she could possibly do to have someone want her, CHOOSE her.


And if you are reading this you are quite possible waiting to be CHOSEN too, waiting for a birth mom to find you good enough, fit, or as the word’s very definition indicates, the best. You may be one of the ones who has not been chosen, maybe time and time again, you’ve heard “she CHOSE another family.” Maybe your heart is heavy and you are fighting off feeling as though you have somehow been rejected, that for some reason, you just aren’t good enough.

At the center of the human heart we all long to be loved, wanted, needed. We long to be CHOSEN.

Ephesians tells a powerful story of those who have been chosen. Each one of us.

“For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will— to the praise of His glorious grace, which He has freely given us in the One He loves.” Eph. 1:4-6

We were created to be loved. Created to be wanted. Created to be chosen.

And when we are not. It hurts.

So tonight if you are praying for that phone call telling you that you have been chosen to be the parents of a child through adoption, I encourage you to also pray for those children who are waiting for families, waiting tonight to hear if they have been chosen.

One Comment leave one →
  1. December 1, 2011 2:59 pm

    This is such a beautiful and heartfelt post! I am a client of Carlee’s and love to follow both of your blogs. They give me hope and encouragement as we work through this process of being “chosen”. Thanks for sharing and for the work that you do to make forever families!

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