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What About Dads?

June 4, 2012

Father’s Day is approaching and lately I’ve been asked a lot of questions about how to help soon-to-be adoptive dads through the adoption process.

In my work as a consultant, it is very common for me to have the majority of my conversations, email exchanges, texts, and so forth with women. And sometimes, with that being the case, I feel like men have a lot of unanswered questions and can tend to get lost in the shuffle. Sorry, guys!

We know that in general women are more emotional thinkers, and men are more analytical processors. Women long to nurture; men want to provide, fix, and shelter. Women want to feel; men want to solve. The adoption journey is a very emotional one, and it is filled with many unknowns. You don’t get a 9 month timeline with an anticipated due date, like in a traditional pregnancy. For processor, thinker, planner, solver, fixers, this is just plain hard.

I spoke with one woman today and she shared with me, “It’s just so hard, we have to make a decision now, and he needs time to THINK.”

And then there are the women who share, “I feel so emotional and hormonal and I’m not even pregnant. I don’t think he knows what to do with me.”

Then there’s the money issue! Adoption costs money. And men are typically the providers, so there is that added sense of pressure when looking at the financial component of adoption. And things like insurance and travel/time away from work.

And the provider, defender dads worry, “Will I feel a bond with this child? Will I be able to care for their hearts? Will I be able to be a good dad?”

I’d like to share a few blogs from some awesome dads who have been through the process and have some great insight on a number of adoption related topics.

Because who better to answer these questions than other dads.

Adoptive Dads Blog: please visit this blog for a wealth of articles all written by adoptive dads on a range of topics.

Adoption Fathers: please visit this blog for some great articles and resources- all for dads.

The Gomes Family: Ed Gomes is currently writing a Father’s Day series on adoption related issues. Ed has tackled a number of topics like Money, Bonding, Are My Kids Going to Get Hurt, Biology vs Adoption

Craig Dinsmore: in this post Craig shares how the Lord captured his heart and drew him out of dread and into a place of JOY in their adoption journey.

My Husband John: John shares some thoughts about being stretched out of a place of comfort in the midst of our journey.

Coming Home: A current client shares his growing revelation of the Lord’s heart for adoption.

Nathan Metz: a former client shares those first moments of meeting his daughter, on Fatherhood and Love.

Randy Bohlender: a dear friend, shares on The Worth of a Child and Mileage May Vary

Dan Cruver: with Together for Adoption writes about the gospel and adoption in “A Party for My Son” 

Tymm Hoffman: In a blog he started after their first adoption, Tymm shares from his heart “Redemption” and “Legacy” 

One Comment leave one →
  1. June 13, 2012 2:05 pm

    Reblogged this on Christian Adoption Consultants and commented:
    Great blog from our Senior Consultant, Tracie Loux!

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